Back in 2008, I started a brand new journey that had plenty of unfamiliar land. I had recently met my dad, moved into his castle-like house, and went back to school at the age of 22. I also broke up with a girl that was pretty special to me at the time.
I was in school and doing a lot of studying which separated me from my primary clique of friends from when I was singing with the band. I had become a stranger in a strange land where I didn’t know too many people. Especially in the collegiate realm.
I remember the first date I went on with me (Haha, I love how crazy this sounds). I went to see the movie, The Wrestler, and then went to a restaurant called Damon’s. It was a sit-down restaurant and I ordered an appetizer. People say pretty often to me that they could never go to a movie by themselves or dinner by themselves outside of a fast food place, where they would only go through the drive-through and never actually go in to sit down.
That’s not something I can understand. What if you really want to go to a specific restaurant but can’t find anyone to go with you? What if you find yourself without a boyfriend or girlfriend? (gasp!) Will you cease to go to see movies? That’s bananas. Go see the movie, man. And go treat yo self to a nice dinner.
Certain things happen within you when you do things like this. One, is that it builds and strengthens courage. Once you start doing things you’ve never done before, even something as small as going to see a movie by yourself, you’ll start to do more things you’ve never done. Maybe go on a vacation by yourself. I know, I’m talking crazy now.
Actually, I’m not. Before I lived in California, I would visit Los Angeles as often as I could because I was so in love with it. Most of those times, I’d done it alone. When I did move to Los Angeles, I took several days and drove across the country (alone). I wanted to see as much of the country as I could because I didn’t have any deadlines or schedules to adhere to. I didn’t even have a job yet. I was just exploring. New Mexico, The Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, San Francisco…
I’m not saying that I hate being with other people but I definitely don’t hate being with myself. Ok, admittedly I hate going to the movies with most people. I believe in an absolutely strict silence policy the moment the previews start. I don’t care if you think it looks good. Save that comment for after we’ve left. Even as the credits begin rolling. I don’t want your synopsis of the film 🙂
I love when I go into a place like Barnes & Noble and people know my name and I know theirs. I love talking to people and connecting with them. Hearing their stories and sharing mine. When I do book signings or talks, I’m fired up out of my mind to talk with everyone. I sincerely love the power of being with other people, going to get coffee with close friends, meeting in the city somewhere for lunch, or just sitting on a bench somewhere and talking. Life without close relationships wouldn’t be much of a life at all. But relationship occurs within us as well.
It’s just as important to experience a healthy amount of time reading, meditating, analyzing my thoughts and determining which ones I need to spend less time with, admiring my accomplishments, and asking myself important questions. Questions like, “What do you want… Who do you want to do life with… Have you truly been living in line with your heart… What do you have to say about all of this, Heart…”
When I showed my friend Erica the title of this blog she said that she gets along with herself because they don’t really know each other. There can be something to that too I s’pose.
Healthy balance. Do stuff by yourself. Be brave and jump. But don’t fall too in love with being alone because you’ll one day find yourself alone.
OH! And here are some pics from some very nice meals I’d have missed out on had I not been comfortable in my own skin to date myself!
This was an appetizer in Laguna Beach, CA
This was a fresh seafood pasta in Laguna Beach, CA
This was some kind of fish on a cedar plank in Santa Monica, CA