It kind of hit me yesterday that I always seem to be in this place of waiting for life to really begin.
As if I’m not actually present in a life that is currently being lived. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen before I’m really there. Before I’ve really “arrived”. Whatever that means.
Thinking Life Will Be Better Later
I always think that life will be better when. When what? When I finish school. When I get the job.
When the band gets the record deal. When I get the publishing contract. When I’ve put out a book…
Well, I’ve put out four of them, finished a biology degree, had music distribution through iTunes, got “the job” several times… so it seems kind of silly to still be in this state of expectant thinking that disallows me from ever actually enjoying the current moment that I’m in. The current accomplishment achieved. The current mountain scaled. I’m constantly looking at the next mountain. And the one beyond that. It’s ok to be ambitious but damn. What if you’re so ambitious you never enjoy the fruit of all of your ambition?
It’s crazy to me that we have to practice things like being aware. Acknowledging the present moment to find peace and experience content. But, it’s just how this life is kind of set up. If I only eat pizza and never get up from a couch, I have a pretty good chance of having pretty bad health. If I choose to eat somewhat responsibly more often and move regularly, I have a pretty good chance of having pretty good health. The most groundbreaking, cosmically quizzical truths exist within that which is simple. Purely simple.
What’s your dream, Mark Craven?
What is it that you do with most of the hours of your day?